Normally I’m quite happy with the US Postal Service.

Today is not one of those days.

You see, one of my birthday presents was shipped via US Postal Service’s Express Mail – not usually a big deal, especially given that I was home for all of yesterday morning (thus fitting a pre-noon delivery perfectly).

Well, they attempted to deliver said package, but didn’t knock on the door to try and actually deliver the package, which required a signature (note to self: remind mom to check the signature waiver whenever she uses Express Mail). Both sprite and I were home, so the carrier could’ve – and should’ve – knocked. Granted, our apartment’s entry isn’t in the most intuitive location, and we’re not connected to the common phone access system that’s used by the rest of the place. But the USPS carriers should know that we’re in the basement, as it’s labeled on our mailbox.

At any rate, we had a little slip in our mailbox, stating that the package would be re-delivered unless we called the station to request it to be held for pickup. Given that the station mentioned was the Cleveland Park station, and that we’d be up that way going to the zoo, we made a side-trip to see if we could either pick up the package there (long-shot) or have it held. The attendant was most friendly and helpful, and told us that the package would be routed through the Friendship Heights station, and gave us the Zone 8 supervisor’s number to call and make arrangements to pick up the package.

So I called and spoke with a friendly woman who said that the package would be held and available for pickup today.

I stopped by the Friendship Heights station during my lunch break – a 2.5 mile ride from work – and waited in a 10-person-deep line that was moving slowly. But eventually a woman came out to assist with those simply wishing to pick up packages – that’s me! So she checked my ID and called down to the Zone 8 area (a “no-man’s land where nobody ever answers the phone,” according to this woman) to inquire about my package.

The package isn’t there. It’s on a truck to be delivered….

….and will make its way back to the station because I wasn’t there to sign for it.

So I let the Zone 8 supervisor have it. I wasn’t loud, but this isn’t the first time that they’ve failed to do what I’ve asked them, so I was very direct in voicing my frustration that a simple request couldn’t be fulfilled. Furthermore, I also complained about the fact that our carrier’s delivery times have become increasingly erratic. If not for the fact that we had an Express Mail parcel for delivery, the likely delivery time would’ve been sometime between 5 and 7 pm, whereas it used to be around 2 or 3 pm.

While she apologized, she also didn’t really offer me any options. She said she couldn’t tell which carrier was delivering to my neighborhood, which I think is a bit suspect: how can the USPS not know where its carriers are or which routes they’re covering? And why can’t they place a call to the carrier? Don’t the have radios, pagers, or cell phones? And don’t the trucks have GPS units on them? Perhaps I’m expecting too much, but such simple things should be part of any delivery service.

After all, UPS, DHL and FedEx all have such systems in place.

Did I mention that my mom decided to pack fresh herbs in this box, along with my present and some coffee beans? And that these herbs were not in a sealed, ziplock bag, but in a fold-over sandwich bag?

So I anticipate that the contents of the package may be smelly, if not ruined, by the time I eventually pick it up or have it delivered – which will be sometime around Memorial Day, the way things are being handled. The one positive side? I got an extra 5 miles of riding under my belt, half of it with a nice uphill push.

Normally, the USPS does things fine, and I’m happy with them. After all, the amount of mail they handle – even with electronic communications taking away a huge chunk of their business – is still substantial. But it’s times like this when they come across as a bit to bureaucratic and non-attentive to customer requests. And while I know they’re not wholly at fault for the situation, it’s not confidence inspiring when they say that nothing can be done when it’s quite clear that they have the technology to what I ask. As HAL said in 2001: A Space Odyssey, it’s all attributable to human error – or perhaps human apathy.

While I still trust USPS with my packages and mail, I’m not nearly as confident that they’ll deliver for me every time, on time, in a customer-friendly way. They need to remember the first rule of business: the customer is always right.